I remember, not more than just a handful of years ago, when there were only two things I cared about in life:
#1. making money, and
#2. lifting weights.
Well, at that point in my life (my early twenties) I just wanted to be able buy whatever I wanted and get as many girls as possible.
That's what I thought would make me happy (ha). So, to that end, you can probably guess what I did with most of my time. And I’d be kidding myself if I told you I wasn’t having a blast. But at what expense did this “blast of a time” come with?
Let’s begin with my emotional wellbeing: I had none. Social scientists have made it very clear that meaningful connections with other people are the most powerful way to build a meaningful life. I sure’s hell didn’t have any of that. After all, going to happy hour looking for new girls to take home three times a week wasn’t exactly the best way to find and forge the “meaningful connections” that researchers are referring to. On top of that, I carried the opposite of an “attitude of gratitude” — I carried an attitude of entitlement — another no-no when it comes to building a truly fulfilling life.
Next, let’s move onto my psychological + mental wellbeing: I depended on other people to tell me that I “looked good” in order to feel confident about myself. Of course, this wasn’t real confidence. Because true confidence comes from within — and does not require the validation of others.
Thirdly, I suffered in the spiritual dimension of my life because, I had no true purpose in my life.
In fact, come to think of it, the only things I valued at this stage of my life lie within the physical dimension: my wealth and my health.
But is it possible to be “wealthy” if you’re hoarding all your money and keeping it all to yourself? No.
Is it possible to be “wealthy” if you don’t share a dime with anyone without expecting something in return? No.
Is it possible to be “healthy” if you don’t feel confident unless you’re wearing an expensive pair of jeans? No.
Is it possible to be “healthy” if the only reason you’re working out is because you want to look good with your shirt off? No, bro.
But I didn't really know about any of that back then. And as a result, I found myself sitting at the edge of my bed one day, feeling empty and alone; trying to figure out why the hell I felt so miserable with myself.
All this time I thought “I had it all.” But the truth, I realized, was that I wasn’t a successful man at all. Not even close. I was a self-serving, ego-driven boy pretending not to be lost and scared of living a life that matters.
I knew I didn’t want to continue living life this way. I knew I wanted to live a more fulfilling life. One that made me feel whole and balanced from the inside-out. But I had no clue how to go about making this kind of transformation.
From then on, I decided to start living life like I gave a damn.
I decided to start looking for answers in books. Lots and lots of books. And perhaps the biggest lesson I learned from reading them, was this: the best life is a balanced life. NOT the boring kind of balance. But the type of balance that allows us to live our lives at the max — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.